Establishing Traditions - Camping

Three years ago, my wife and I decided we should take our kids camping. Now I wasn't raised a camper. As I recall my childhood, we only went camping once. I was in cub scouts and the troop I was in had an overnight family camping trip. So the family packed some stuff into our Mercury Monarch, and headed out. The first obstacle we faced was a road that dipped through a stream with about 6 inches of water covering the road. My dad was a bit nervous about this water crossing, although a boy scout who was directing folks into the pasture assured us if we got a running start we could make it across. The second obstacle was that we didn't have a tent. So my mom improvised with a quilt that she hung one side in the doors of the car and staked the other side up with a couple of branches we found. The final obstacle was that the pasture we were camping in had been plowed the season before so, it was bumpy night sleep. Honestly after that adventure, I think my parents swore off camping.

As not to deprive my own children of these childhood memories, my wife and I decided to take the kids camping. We chose the Friday the kids got out of school (late May) and headed out to the nearest state park. Since we were a bite nervous about the trip, we borrowed a pop-up camper from some friends and invited my brother to come with. My brother is a mamologist and had spent many a night under the stars as he trapped small furry animals to study.

So the first year we just spent one night. The nearby state park is actually neat. It has a small pond stocked with sun fish that bite on almost anything, a swimming pool, and plenty of space for kids to walk and ride bikes. In fact on that first visit, a videographer from the State Department of Parks and Wildlife was visiting to shoot video of the park and actually miced up my oldest while we fished. The video actually aired on a short segment carried by television stations state wide.

The second year we tried two new things. First we tried tent camping, thanks to my brother who picked us up a 4 person tent. Second we tried a two night stay. This visit was the first weekend of June, and was great thanks to the pool being opened. Again the kids caught fish, they rode their bikes, and we even ran into our friends with the pop-up who were also there for the weekend.

Well this year marks our third planned visit. We are going to try to coordinate our visit with the friends with the pop-up, and we are going to bring my youngest along as well. Initially we thought about just a one night stay for the youngest, but as chance would have it, my folks will be in Spain that weekend. So the baby boy will be jumping in with both feet for the two night stay.

Honestly, I'm actually looking forward to it. It's become a good tradition to kick off the summer vacation period. We grill out over an open fire, we have a Sunday morning praise time, we fish so that everyone gets to catch a fish. It's a good way to spend the weekend before it gets too hot and before we start the mad dash of summer trips.

How the Kids are Growing

Over the last couple of days I've been thinking about the future. Specifically about the future when my kids are grown or almost grown. In the last couple of months I've had a couple of colleagues who have dealt with significant events in their kids lives. One lost his son at the age of 37, after he'd abused his body with drug abuse. Another has seen his teenage girl challenge the boundaries the family has used to raise their children. Finally today, my dad's best friend from high school stopped over for lunch and spent time sharing with mom and dad the plight of their own children.

These events have prompted me to think about my own children, the way my wife and I are raising them, and what we want for them as they proceed into life. I've been a firm believer that parents can do their best, but God's given each person free will to make their own decisions. At some point a parent has to rely on the grace of God to cover what parent's have missed. And when the children make poor decisions, our job is to love them and offer forgiveness.

Several weeks I heard a church class on raising girls. The presenters, a former business man and his wife, talked about how they used a "master plan" for their children. The plan was designed with increasing levels or responsibilities, so that when they were 17 years old they would be making their own decisions. Until that point the parents would ensure that they've progressively equipped their children so that they were ready to make those decisions. As a survey my own children, the oldest one almost ten, I'm nervous thinking that I haven't been equipping my children to be ready to make their own decisions. Obviously each parent does it differently, but I guess the realization is that our time with the children is fleeting. Once they are born, the clock is ticking. With each day, month, and year our influence is lessing. Honestly it's a bit overwhelming.

I'm prayer is that in twenty to twenty-five years, as I sit with old friends sharing pictures and stories, that I'll be proud and glowing about my children and maybe my grandchildren. Twenty years seems like a life time away, but I'm sure it will get here sooner than I think.

Checking the Schedule for a Night Home

I can remember, when my first child was a baby, that my wife and I rarely left the house. Maybe part of that was the simple fact we were new parents and were entirely confident in running around town with a little baby. During that time, we could watch a whole session of television shows as they originally aired.

Now our schedules are packed with evening activities, and it's a rare occurrence when we find ourselves at home, together, for an evening. For example, this week I've not spent a single night at home. Monday night I had a business dinner. Tuesday night the girls had gymnastics. Wednesday night I was driving back home from a business trip to Dallas, where upon arriving I headed straight to church. Thursday night I had a monthly poker game with some buddies. Saturday night we are schedule to have a family dinner to celebrate my brother's birthday. Sunday night we have our monthly Shepherding group. As of right now, it appears that Friday night will be my only night home for the week.

It's pretty amazing to me the contrast between now and when we were young and inexperienced parents. It's also pretty striking how jammed packed our lives have become. I shudder to think how what our schedules will look like once my children start middle school.

Mixing Work with Play

Early this morning, at 4am I pulled out of the employer's parking lot with a SUV full of colleagues and golf clubs. Three and half hours later, I was approaching the number 9 tee box at the Tribute. It's a rare occasion that members of my staff can get away from the office to spend a day on the links, especially at a location that boast the best of holes on the British tour. What's more advantageous was that this little escape was hosted by one of the vendors we work with.

I'd love to say that my golf game was impressive or that I carried our team to the best score. However the reality is that my game had fleeting moments, surrounded by a multitude of lost balls in the high grass. I thought I played okay for someone with no formal training and who's last round was 18 months ago.

Despite a seven hour car trip and a 7:30am tee time, it was a pretty good day. Each of my colleagues won something from the raffle, and more importantly the office didn't stop functioning while we were away. Sounds like a well deserved quick get away.

"Don't cross the beams"

Do you remember the movie Ghostbusters from 1984? There's a conversation that occurs between Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd as they check out their proton-packs for their first gig at the Sedgewick Hotel. In that exchange the Ghostbusters are informed that crossing the beams of their proto-packs is bad.

In many sense, I find that crossing my vocation and family is bad. I'm not sure how lawyers, pastors, accountants, and nuclear physicists handle this, but for a technologist like myself I don't enjoy spending a day at the office solving computer network issues only to be greeted by my wife and kids upon returning home that the computer isn't working.

This past week, my lovely bride had a printing issue. So reluctantly I took a look. After losing an hour of my evening removing drivers and rebooting her laptop countless times, I finally hand her the laptop and the her desired print out. Needless to say my attitude after this heroic battle between myself, our HP deskjet 4200, and her Dell laptop with Vista (insert a "groan") is sour. I quickly retire to the front porch to bask in the freshly rained environment to collect myself and recenter my attitude.

On the porch, I ask myself whether other professionals find themselves in similar situations. Do accountants come home to balance their own check books? Do lawyers come home to review their personal contracts and ponder litigation aspects of their homeowner's associations? Do chefs come home to prepare an elaborate meal for the wife and kids?

I'm sure the answer to all these is yes, and I should be thankful that we aren't shoveling out $75/hour to the Geek Squad.

Working Together

Several years ago, a friend of my wife and I inquired if we would be interested in serving at a wine tasting event in Buffalo Gap. We shuffled the kidos off to the grandparents and spent an entertaining and informational day pouring wines for this tasting. For the last three years we've continued our participation with this annual event. Each year we meet new wine makers, get introduced to some fascinating wines, and learn a little more about the art of pairing wines with dishes.

What's more important is the enjoyment my wife and I find in sharing time together at these events. There's something to be said for finding a interest you and your spouse share, and investing in that interest. Despite the fact we are actually working the events, we typically come away enriched. Our knowledge about wines and food pairings is enriched, but what's more is that our relationship is enriched. We actually spend hours talking with each other for days following the event. We talk about the people we meet, the wines we encountered, and the food we tasted. We talk about how the event seemed to flow, the other volunteers we meet, and conversations we had with patrons that attended these events.

Now I would not recommend that all couples volunteer to serve at a wine tasting, but I would recommend that couples identify a shared interest and identify ways to invest in these interests. Our experience has informed us that it doesn't matter as much what the activity is, it's the shared interest and how it is able to grow that matters.

Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

Maybe you have driven by what some would label a "dive" and curiosity caught hold of you to the point that against your better judgment you stopped to check it out. If this is the case, I applaud you.

In a recent trip to the Hill Country of Texas my beautiful bride and I were on a search for an evening experience. Having completed an afternoon of wine tasting, I pulled out the crackberry and performed a google search for "steak fredericksburg texas". One resulting eatery was closed that Sunday evening, so we searched again and came up with a placed called "Hill Top Cafe". A quick call to verify they were open and we were on our way uncertain what to expect. A short drive up Hwy 87 we came to the crossroad of FM648 to an old fillin station. It's the only building for several miles and definitely the only neon lit. To be honest, the placed looked like the definition of a dive and we were a bit anxious as we entered the establishment. The greeting by the staff was friendly and the other patrons didn't look deathly ill. So we sat and were directed to a chalkboard above our table that listed the specials. What caught my wife's eye was crab meat covered flat steak.

The decor was eclectic to say the least, and I swear I saw the final destination of an early 1970's kitchen table my folks had when I was a kid. Even the chairs adjoining this particular table were metal and vinyl. The ceiling was covered with old concert posters from blues and swing acts that I've only seen on the Texas Country Reporter.

Surprising to us, the food was more than we could have dreamed of. The steaks were prepared to perfection and the portions were rightly sized. The fact their desert list was paired back to only pecan pie because they were out of bread pudding, should have told us that this was a popular place. It was only after we left did we realize that this eatery in the middle of nowhere was infamous, featured in Texas Monthly, Southern Living, and Country Home.

So let me add my own recommendation. The Hill Top Cafe is a must see, eat, and enjoy. Come in for the food and leave filled and enriched by the conversation, decor, and Texas hospitality at its best. Who ever said, don't judge a book by it's cover, could have been talking about this cafe on the hill.